Even as a schoolgirl, the question "How shall I live?" guided Claire Laschiver of Peoria, Ariz.

"I had a list of 'Must or bust, before I hit the dust,' " she says.

PREPARING

Now 86, Laschiver finds that having led a life directed by the first question makes "How shall I die?" an easier question to face.

She has left very little unfinished in her life - she still rues a missed visit to Antarctica - and she's "not a bit afraid of dying."

Laschiver has written a will and a living will, paid for her funeral and made arrangements to have her ashes scattered in the Pacific Ocean, as they were for her husband, Jim, who died a year ago.

BEYOND MEMENTOS

But in preparing for the end of her life, she hasn't neglected the emotional issues, either. She married Jim, the love of her life, in 2001, after having lost touch with him for 63 years and being widowed for 10 years. She has kept up with dear friends and traveled the world, and she communicates often with her son, Nigel, 64, who lives with his wife in France.

Laschiver, who was born and spent most of her life in England, drew up a family tree for Nigel and, at his request, made a list of all the addresses where she has lived. She laughs delightedly at his interest in such things.

"I do regret not having asked my mother more about our family history," she says. "In that generation, you never were told anything."

Attorney Elizabeth Arnold, author of Creating the Good Will (Portfolio, 2007, $13.95 paperback), sees in her work that intangible legacies such as the ones Laschiver will leave are far more important than the monetary ones.

"Siblings are five times more likely to get into arguments over a treasured family item than over money," Arnold says by phone from the San Francisco area.

What's important to them, she says, is the reminder of happy times, of how much they were loved. A traditional will doesn't always provide that nod to the heart.

A good will, she says, does more than tell your loved ones who gets what. It tells them who you are, and it lets them know you love them.

"Some people will write a letter or give a special piece to each family member," Arnold says."

Maizes has written an "ethical will" for her husband and three kids to read after she dies. A tradition in the Jewish faith, the will focuses on what you have learned and what you want to pass on to your children.

"It's a lovely exercise," she says, "because it leads you to think about your values, what's most important to you and how you have led your life. It's not a very widespread tradition in our culture, but people who have received one talk about how much it has meant to them to have such a thing and to be able to go back to it time and time again."

ENJOYING THE ROSES

Laschiver, her legal and emotional affairs in order, continues to build her legacy and likely will for years to come, fortune willing. She swims laps and bicycles daily, doesn't drink caffeinated beverages or alcohol and has never smoked.

Besides, there's still Antarctica to see. And the Taj Mahal.

"And only the other day," Laschiver says, "I was reading a book and had to add another to my (must or bust) list, a visit to the Prado Museum in Madrid. My son and his wife live very close ... so there is a chance we three might tootle across to Madrid on my next visit."