Stop to identify what is motivating you. Name the feelings — before and after the task is accomplished? Are you motivated by what others think or what you believe about yourself?

Some children are people-pleasers. They do anything to make you happy. Offering them money as motivation misses the mark. They're looking for personal validation, not for a reward for what they do. Feed that need daily with positive personal recognition of their worth, not how well the task was done.

Kids will do anything for attention good or bad, whichever works better.

Other kids have learned at an early age that they must look for external rewards. The problem is that, when it comes to grades, the external reward is often nine weeks away — pretty much out of sight for the normal child who wants immediate gratification.

So, educators and parents feed appetites with stickers, prizes, and money. Eventually it becomes a game of "up the ante," bribery or blackmail.

Parents need to find their child's motivational "button." My goal is for children to internalize their personal fulfillment by doing unselfish tasks for others.

Educational psychology offers many more theories about motivation. Some think children deserve to get paid because it's their "job" to do their best in school. Defining "good job" may become a parental esteem issue. What academic expectations do you have of your child and why? Some parents can't accept that their child's best is less than they expected. Ideally, parents want what is in their child's best interest.

Unfortunately, there are parents who, consciously or not, view their child as an extension of themselves. They push for high achievement in areas they had wanted to be successful. Sadly, a lot of parents view anything their child does as reflecting on them. These adults go to any extreme to encourage (push, threaten, bribe) their children not to let them down, to lose face. Failing that, punishment is the consequence.

So, should parents pay Amount X for an "A" or a "B" grade? Is a "C" worth anything? Does one deduct for anything less than a "C?"

Suppose your employer regularly changed your payday check based on your effort and daily performance.

Feel the stress?

Northwestern Community Columnist Virginia Tawawili is a retired teacher living in Oshkosh.